The New Year diet can wait as Scone Spy heads to Newport-On-Tay’s Kitschnbake

Kitschnbake Café's scone (Tina Norris)

KITSCHNBAKE is one of those places that has long been on my radar to visit, but I’ve never got round to it.

I’ve heard locals talk about it and say how they visit regularly – and, to me, that’s almost as good as a Scone Spy recommendation.

Not quite, obviously!

So, on a crisp, sunny morning, I decide today is the day.

The minute I walk in, I get a good feel about the place. Maybe it’s the big smile I get from the waitress.

Could it be the mismatched china and homely feel?

Is it the pretty lanterns and retro wallpaper?

Or the two women roaring with laughter in the corner.

All I hear is: “…and then he ended up flat on the floor.”

I know. I want to know more, too.

Really, it’s the clear love of a good scone that makes me feel right at home here.

Kitschnbake (Tina Norris)

I’ve been told you get at least three scone choices every day and, sure enough, today we’re offered fruit, plain or raspberry and apple crumble. Bingo!

The rest of the menu is pretty special, too.

I’m immediately drawn to mac and cheese toasty.

But then I spy a roasted veg and feta tart and I’m sold.

Roasted veg is a joy. So much better than boiled-on-the-hob bland carrots. Sure enough, it’s utterly delicious. The veg is bursting with flavour and the whole plateful is perfect.

It’s even got what I call ’70s-style coleslaw.

It doesn’t have that ultra-rich, way too gloopy creaminess. It’s almost like it might have been made with salad cream. And it’s all the better for it.

The raspberry and apple crumble scone is curious. The flavours are spot on. But it’s got a slight doughiness – it needed a minute more in the oven.

I realise this, but it doesn’t stop me eating it. There’s a reason cookie dough ice cream is a best-seller. Dough is go and once I start, I can’t stop.

Looking out onto the Tay (Tina Norris)

The waitress comes over as I’m finishing and asks if it was OK. Am I sure? Indeed, I mumble, mouth still full.

When it comes to paying for it, I’m surprised to be told that I won’t be charged for the scone as they realise they weren’t quite right.

Well, this is embarrassing.

Because I’ve eaten almost the whole darn thing even though I can now see they’ve been taken off sale.

I wouldn’t let this put you off a visit to Kitschnbake. It’s as nice a cafe as I’ve visited.

The food is great.

As I’m leaving, the two laughing friends order more tea and are on an altogether more serious subject – why can’t they lose weight?

I may be wrong but I don’t think the two slices of Terry’s Chocolate Orange Cheesecake they add to their order are going to help.

As Scone Spy so often says, let the diet begin tomorrow.