FINALLY, after almost two years of campaigning, we’re almost there.
We all know the US presidential election goes on a long time but this one has felt especially epic.
Put it this way, my hall lightbulb has needed changed at least twice since the early days of campaigning begun.
I’ve experienced a few races for the White House since I moved to Los Angeles over a decade ago but there’s never been one like the one finishing this week.
It’s not just because one of the candidates is a woman though – no, it’s mainly down to her opponent, Donald Trump.
He says a lot of daft things, Donald.
Saying daft things doesn’t seem to stop anyone forging a successful political career in the US, though.
If making silly comments means you can run for office then perhaps I could do an Arnie and run for Governor of California.
It’s not like back home in the UK, of course. We’d never put up with a blond man with silly hair blustering his way into a position of power, would we?
Last week Donald was saying he didn’t believe in wind power. I suspect he’s just saying that because of what it does to his hair.
And what a barnet that is! Alright, alright – I know you’re thinking me commenting on this is a bit of a pot and kettle situation.
But how do you ask for that haircut? Maybe Donald thought he’d wandered into a café and asked the barber for a shredded wheat?
Of course Hillary Clinton, former First Lady herself, should be romping home against such an inexperienced and divisive opponent but is being dogged by an email scandal.
Hillary’s 69 years old – I don’t know about you but she should be getting a round of applause for being able to work her email.
Over the past few weeks I’ve spoken to a few stars about what they think of the two candidates.
When he was over having a cuppa my pal Michael Douglas was very diplomatic. He’s a friend of the Clintons AND Trump and didn’t really pick sides.
Barbra Streisand was less keen on The Donald. She told me she was going to have a mind reader on stage during her latest show. The only mind she struggled with was Donald’s – because he didn’t have one!
So who will the big winner be? Well it’s not Hillary, and it’s not The Donald – it’s mostly US.
I don’t mean The United States – I mean all of us…because it’s finally over!
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