Brother of soldier lost to suicide returns to the West Highland Way

Gordon Adam, right, in 2005 during the trek of the West Highland Way he made with his brother, Struan. — Gordon Adam in 2005 during the trek of the West Highland Way he made with his brother, Struan.

For every one of the 96 miles of the West Highland Way he treks this weekend, Struan Adam will be thinking of his younger brother.

When they did the walk together back in 2005, it was a special experience that encapsulated their close sibling bond.

It was often joked that they’d have to do it again one day, the opposite way.

But, five years ago, Sergeant Gordon Adam, a soldier with The Royal Scots Dragoon Guards, sadly took his own life.

Struan and some of Gordon’s old army pals are therefore taking on ‘The Return Journey‘ in his memory and supporting charities that would have helped him, and that he would’ve backed himself.

“Gordon and I were always very close growing up, literally sharing our room, our whole lives,” Struan said.

“Right up until his passing, we would phone each other up any time, completely randomly with nothing to say, just for a chat.

“I don’t really have that with any other sibling or friend. We could talk rubbish. We could talk about serious things. I really miss that.”

The Return Journey

Centring on what would’ve been Gordon’s 40th birthday, the challenge has raised almost £3,000 so far.

Making it all the more poignant, that walk back in 2005 was pivotal in inspiring him to join the army, where he had a distinguished career.

It had started off with 25 boys and leaders from a youth club in Kilwinning, but ended with Struan and Gordon as two of only four to complete the route.

Gordon Adam and youth worker Mark Fraser on the West Highland Way, 2005.

“It was one of the first instances that he finished a challenge,” Struan recalled.

“It’s such a treasured memory – when he finished it his face lit up, he’s achieved something.

“I fondly remember that whole week and what it meant. It means more to me now. I’m really looking forward to doing that again with Gordon’s pals. I think we’ll have a great laugh but it’ll be very emotional as well.”

Joining the army in 2006 based out of Leuchars in Fife, keen boxer ‘Gordy’ was known for being the life and soul of the party, but also someone who would always be there to help a comrade in need.

At the time of his death, he had intended to take part in a marathon challenge for Samaritans, in memory of friends he’d lost. His and Struan’s dad also died by suicide when they were young boys.

“Tragically, the last Facebook post that Gordon put up was that he was going to raise money for them,” Struan said.

“I remember seeing it and texting him straight away to say ‘let’s do it together’. Just a week later, he had taken his own life.”

Siblings Kirstie, Shona, Gordon Struan and Olivia.

Struan was among Gordon’s friends and family who completed the challenge in his name, running a marathon mere days after his brother’s death.

“You need to do something constructive and positive,” he said. “We needed a distraction. It was the easiest run I’ve ever done because there was no stopping me.”

Charity fundraising

Samaritans is one of the charities benefitting from The Return Journey’s fundraising, alongside social inclusion organisation Golden Friendships in Clydebank and Thrive in Stewarton, which supports physical and mental wellbeing in people in their 20s to 40s.

“Samaritans do amazing work but when you need to phone them, that’s way too late,” Struan said.

“There’s stuff that needs to be done so people can enjoy their lives and not get to the point where they make that call.

“One of Gordon’s friends said these were the type of charities that would help someone like Gordon out, and in return he would help them out.”

Gordon was a father to two sons, a daughter and a stepson, who is now in the Royal Scots. Alongside Struan, sisters Olivia, Kirstie, and Shona and mum Sarah have carried on his legacy by continuing to help others struggling with depression.

“Particularly with suicide, I can fully understand why some people who have lost somebody maybe don’t talk about it and don’t go there, just kind of move on,” Struan added.

“I was brought up not really talking about my dad. It was all hushed away. With Gordon, I want his kids to be able to think about him fondly.

“I want us to be able to talk about him, as hard as that can be sometimes.”

‘We never talk about Gordon for very long before we start laughing – and crying’

After her son Gordon Adam’s death, Sarah Frame realised she needed a change in career and set about making her dreams of owning a bookshop come true.

Last month, The Book Nook in Stewarton’s High Street was honoured as Independent Bookshop of the Year for Scotland at The British Book Awards, having previously been shortlisted in 2021 and 2022.

“I was working in a corporate career when I lost Gordon and although after some months off I’d gone back to work, it took a toll on me,” she said.

“Grief is so encompassing, it affects your physical and mental health, you struggle with everything. I realised I had to make room to carry that grief about with me and try and find a way that I could reconfigure my life to accommodate it rather than have it consume me and destroy anything else that was left.

“I gave up my corporate career. Like many people who are mad about books like me have always thought, I’d liked to have a book shop. I decided to open one without really envisaging it being what it is now.”

A key component of the shop is being community-focussed, providing a place for people to visit and bond over a shared love of books.

“I felt it would help me to cope, being surrounded by books and talking to people about them and sharing the joy they bring.

“It was also really important that I could create a place which could have a positive impact on people’s wellbeing as well. I wanted to run some activities and make it a welcoming space, somewhere that anybody could come in.

“It’s not about being a shop, it’s about being a place in the community where people can feel better when they’re in it.”

Sarah Frame, mother of Gordon Adam, outside her bookshop. The Book Nook.

Sarah will join other family members for the last part of the West Highland Way challenge, which will pass where his ashes are scattered.

“We never talk about Gordon for very long before we start laughing – and crying, perhaps,” she said.

“All we’ve got now are these memories, and they are so precious.

“I kept print-outs of all the messages that we got after we lost Gordon and there are hundreds of people who didn’t just say he was a great guy, they went into detail about the positive impact he’d had on their life and things he’d done to help them. I can still take a lot of comfort from that.

“Suicide remains the biggest threat to young men and it’s growing rapidly with young women as well. If it’s not talked about, people think it’s not going to be somebody they know. The more that we recognise how prevalent is then the more opportunities there are to try and prevent that happening with other people.”

You can donate to the fundraiser at gofundme.com/f/The-Return-Journey

When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year. You can call free on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, or visit www.samaritans.org