Our resident agony aunt, Maggie Clayton, helps this reader who is worried that her husband is not taking the Covid-19 pandemic seriously.
Dear Maggie
Ever since lockdown began my husband has refused to take it seriously.
I read all the advice about social distancing, especially on public transport and in the shops. I bought masks for both of us but he has refused to wear his.
I have been careful to follow all the rules. I come from a big family and at weekends I enjoy having guests round for meals but I stopped that because of lockdown.
In shops I am careful to stick to the two-metre distancing rule. I keep in touch with family and friends by phone.
My husband thinks I fuss too much. The tension between us came to a head when he said he’d invited two couples we are friendly with to join us for my birthday meal. I lost it with him. I said it was the last thing I wanted and we had a big row.
He says I’m a “killjoy”. I believe I’m just being sensible.
Is there anything I can do to make my husband understand everyone needs to be careful until this pandemic is a thing of the past? I’m really frightened of this virus and would hate to develop it myself or be responsible for passing it on to someone else. Why can’t he support me in this?
Maggie Says
Some people choose to put up a fight against anything which deprives them of what they consider their “rights” and their freedom to do exactly what they want.
It sounds as if your husband is enraged at having any limitations put on what he considers his personal freedom.
You can only set an example by quietly choosing to do the right thing – being careful about keeping your distance from people and accepting that social distancing is working.
We are at a point when lockdown restrictions will hopefully start to ease but there is always the danger that there could be another “spike”, so caution is still advisable. Just carry on behaving in a responsible fashion. I do hope your husband has the good sense to realise you are doing what is sound and sensible.
Hopefully giving up some of our personal freedoms now will prove to have been well worth it.
‘I’m finding it difficult to live with my mum and dad’
Dear Maggie
I’m 19 years old and still live at home with my mum and dad. But since lockdown it has been really difficult. They want me home when I finish work during the week and they worry if I spend time with my mates.
I know it’s the coronavirus that bothers them but I’m not stupid. I don’t take any unnecessary risks. How can I get them off my back? It’s driving me mad having to account for every single thing I do.
Maggie Says
It’s difficult for you to have your freedom limited in this way.
It must feel really frustrating. You work hard and you’re a sensible girl so all you can do is try to understand that they are anxious about this virus which has had such a dramatic and dangerous effect on our society.
Parents worry, it’s in our DNA and we can’t fight it. So listen to what they are saying, try to understand how anxious they feel and compromise just a little bit. Hopefully that will help you and your mum and dad to get through this time safely and with confidence.
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