Three simple, final words that will stay in mother’s heart.
It was just another morning. Gathering her gym kit and her bag, a 12 year old girl left for school and her last words to her mum as she went out the door were “I love you”.
Simple words. Priceless words. Treasured forever by Abbie Wallis-Bennett because they were the last time she’d ever hear them from her daughter Keane who, hours later, was crushed to death when a wall collapsed in a changing room at Liberton High School in Edinburgh.
In homes all over Britain these words are uttered every day as, preoccupied with morning bustle, we say goodbye to our families. We say them automatically, often without thinking “Bye, see you, love you” never imagining they may be the final message to the person we love.
The poignancy of them is not lost on Abbie, a 38-year-old mother heartbroken at the loss of her bright and beautiful daughter.
“It’s the little things that are hard and which make me miss her even more,” she said last week. “The washing basket is half-empty and we’ve cut down on food.”
There’s not a mum who won’t identify with her words.
When the unthinkable happens, when your world is torn apart, it’s the little things which hurt. The ordinary everyday habits of our lives which we take so much for granted.
The support of family and friends helps, but grieving is a long and lonely process.
There will be so many ‘firsts’. The first Christmas without her daughter. The first birthday. The end of term without her girl coming home. The exams Keane won’t sit.
She’ll see her daughter’s friends grow up, have jobs and boyfriends, marriage and babies and the loss will always be felt in her heart.
Parents never forget or ever totally recover from the death of a child. It isn’t possible. But they find a way to keep living.
Time heals the rawness of grief and takes the edges off the pain. Just a little bit.
But perhaps today all of us should stop and think about what really matters. Life can be so unexpected. You leave in the morning and who knows where that day will take you?
So look at the people you care about and think what would you like to tell them?
I hope Abbie will take comfort from those final words her daughter spoke. “I love you.”
A simple message but the only one that counts.
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