Opinion: I know I’m right about booze-free football

My wife will disagree, but being proved right isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Not that it happens a lot, you understand, but when it does, it’s nice to be able to proudly stand up, grin inanely and roar to all those who disagreed: “Gerrit right roond yeh! Nananana! Told you so, told you so! Hahaha!”

Sadly though, when it comes to being proved right over the licensed trade, I find myself wishing I’d shut my face and never voiced an opinion.

I was right when I warned everyone about the cataclysmic effects the smoking ban would have on this once proud and profitable trade. Thousands of pubs and clubs right across the UK were forced to close and tens of thousands of jobs were lost.

I was also right when I claimed the health of the nation would not be vastly improved by the ban as people would continue to smoke at home, drinking cheap booze bought at supermarkets.

I was right AGAIN when I warned this turnaround in drinking habits would see incidents of violence in and around the home increase but drop in city centres.

I also correctly guessed that over-provision of pubs and clubs and the granting of late hours to anyone who applied would result in price wars among publicans and licensees and that alcohol would end up being be sold for buttons so they could stay afloat.

Drink in some places is now cheaper than it was 15 years ago.

More recently, I ‘ve been proved right when I said lowering the drink-drive limit would force many pubs and restaurants to consider shutting up shop, as the fear of being treated like a serial killer for the next 20 years has put the brakes on drivers having that revitalising pint or glass of wine with their lunch.

In some places, a 60% drop in trade has been reported and yet only seven people were caught between the new and old limit over the busy Christmas period. Hardly a staggering number more a complete waste of time, energy, money and now jobs!

As I say, it’s sometimes really depressing when you’re always proved right.

So listen up… Seer MacLeod or rather Donald MacLeod, Prophet and Harbinger of Licenced Trade Doom, now predicts that if football clubs are granted their wish and allowed to sell booze at stadiums, yet more publicans will be driven to the abyss.

I’m not against football fans having a drink. I like having a few before and after going to a game, but I am against football clubs turning their stadiums into giant sports pubs for thousands of fans to have a swallie at the expense of the wee publican who has sweated over his pumps for 365 days of the year.

Also, if adopted, what will happen to the clubs if an incidence of violence takes place when a drunk fan returns home and is then arrested? Will the police threaten them with the loss of their licence for selling him the booze as they do with the wee pub? Somehow I don’t think so!

As for allowing drink to be sold at Old Firm games hahaha! I know Rangers need the money but do any of us really need the aggro when these teams meet?

I would suggest that if they are really serious about bringing booze back into stadiums, then they trial it at the next two Old Firm matches. You don’t have to be Nostradamus to correctly guess what will happen.

This populist measure being suggested by Labour’s tee-total Jim Murphy and his new-found friends, the Tories, stinks of desperation, a cheap and dangerous stunt to claw in votes before the General Election.

And mark my words, if this becomes a Murphy’s Law, yet another nail will be driven into the coffin of the licenced trade.

I was always told never to trust someone who doesn’t take a drink. That, I know, is not strictly true but I do know you should never trust a politician as sleekit as Jim, who not only doesn’t drink, but, when the wind blows for votes, demands with an insincere smile on his chops that everyone else should.

That, again, is something I definitely know I’m right about!