Bullies will point, and now they will click too

Being a teenage girl isn’t easy. It never has been. No matter how pretty, confident or smart you are, or how secure your family life is – there’s a pressure which many girls growing up experience and it comes sadly from other girls.

It’s so easy to become the one who is “picked on” for being different. Singled out for jibes about your hair/your weight/your clothes/your schoolwork/your boyfriend or lack of one.

A friend of mine has a 14-year-old daughter who is being bullied at school. It’s a subtle process. Little catty comments about her appearance or an answer she gave in the classroom.

Her tormentors huddle together in the playground and laugh when she walks past.

At one time she was part of their “in group” and then suddenly she wasn’t. She first learned about it in a group text message which was sent to her “by mistake.”

Can you imagine how hurtful it was to read what they actually thought about her? She bravely confronted them but was met with sneers and jeers. It has continued for weeks. She is now anxious, hates going to school and spends a lot of time alone in her bedroom.

Her mum is desperately worried about her and doesn’t know what to do about it. If she speaks to the school will it only make things worse? Should she ignore it and hope this will pass?

Bullying isn’t a new thing it has always existed. But what makes it more dangerous today I think is the 24 hour access to social media.

Twitter accounts/Facebook/text messages/e-mails are part of daily life. Girls walk home from school texting comments. They go home and send messages to their pals gossiping about their day and everything that has gone on at school.

Much of it of course is just harmless chit chat but sometimes it can turn ugly and one girl is singled out to be the butt of their scorn.

It’s impossibly difficult for any teenager to be in that position.

Remember how vulnerable you felt growing up? You worried about that spot on your face which felt like a crater on the moon. You spent ages trying to make sure your school skirt was the right length/your shoes were cool/your hair looked right.

Growing up is tough. Teenagers have a pack mentality and dread being an outsider. That hasn’t changed but social networking today brings round the clock pressures. As parents we need to be alert and aware of that.

There are no easy answers. All we can do is be there for our child to listen if they want to talk and support them as they negotiate the minefield of growing up in a world where comment and opinion goes viral very quickly.

And it can hurt.