Culture, history and celebrity… you’ll find it all on the shores of the Thames

IT’S quite a week when you come face to face with actress Nicole Kidman, singer Will Young and rapper Tinie Tempah.

To be fair, I’m not on first-name terms with any of these stars but I did manage to get within a few feet of them during a recent family break to London.

That’s the thing about the Big Smoke, you can literally bump into anyone if you know where to go or simply strike it lucky.

With regards to Nicole, that was down to a quick Google search to see if there were any film premieres on in Leicester Square.

Bingo, the movie Lion was being launched. Then all it took was a wee wander along, and we stood at the barriers for about 45 minutes before the stars rolled up.

A few cries of “Nicole, Nicole” and we got a close-up of one of Hollywood’s leading ladies.

And if you think this is an unusual occurrence then think again – the following week Ben Affleck, Tom Cruise and Leonardo di Caprio were all in town.

So where do Tinie Tempah and Will Young come in? Well, I won’t lie – we just happened to stroll past them in the street as we took in the sights.

It’s not just celebrities that make London great, though. It’s got everything. History, theatreland, beautiful architecture, museums, art galleries, the Houses of Parliament.

And one of the best ways to start a trip is to cruise down the Thames.

It was the first time we’d taken such a boat trip and it really put everything into context. Starting at Westminster, we sailed under Blackfriars Bridge and on to Tower Bridge. The commentary, provided by one of the Cockney rivermen, was fantastic. An encyclopaedic knowledge of the area, delivered with dry wit, raised a smile.

I was a bit worried when he started to tell us all about Roberto Calvi, the man known as God’s banker as he was the moneyman for the Vatican.

He had also been accused of laundering money for the Mafia and ended up hanging underneath Blackfriars Bridge with bricks and £10,000 in cash stuffed in his pockets.

My 13-year-old daughter found this story particularly absorbing. I suppose that’s what happens when your dad is a former crime reporter.

On the theme of dark creepy stories, a great place to hear more about London’s dark underbelly is the London Dungeon.

I wasn’t sure what to expect when we ventured into the darkness. What followed was a fantastic, spine-tingling and enthralling trip through some of the city’s most infamous moments – from Jack the Ripper to the Great Fire.

Educational visits aside, London is a mecca for shopping much to the delight of my wife and children who spent four hours – so they tell me – in one corner of Topshop.

But it was fine as – apparently – they only bought items that were on sale. While they were being prudent (not a chance!), I ventured over to the South Bank to take in some culture, starting with a visit to the new Tate Modern.

Cavernous in size, it houses floor after floor of modern art from Andy Warhol to Pablo Picasso and is well worth a trip.

Young and old can be seen perusing the works, some nodding sagely while most, including me, stood agog thinking ‘I’ve no idea what this is meant to be but it looks impressive nonetheless’.

And finally, no trip to London could be complete without taking in a show. In our case, it was Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

I’m not a man for musicals but my foot was tapping vigorously as the stars sang and danced their way through this Roald Dahl classic.

That brought the curtain down on, as the great man would say himself, a phizz-whizzing and whoopsy-wiffling holiday.