AFTER a particularly hard few days watching his mum’s fight with dementia, musician Paul Murdoch picked up his guitar and started writing a very personal song.
What became a way for him to pour his feelings out about his mum’s situation quickly became a soundtrack for thousands of people going through something similar.
It has made him realise that no matter how lonely he and his family feel as they go through this process, they are certainly not the only ones.
“It was for purely selfish, cathartic reasons that I wrote Golden Rust, but when I let people hear it I received great feedback,” explained 56-year-old Paul, who lives in Alexandria, West Dunbartonshire.
“After the video for the song was viewed tens of thousands of times in a short while and people got in touch to tell me about their parents, I realised so many others were going through the same thing as our family.
“I had gone from sobbing like a baby in the social work office, desperate for help, to hearing all of these other stories about people’s experiences with dementia.”
It was five years ago that Paul’s mum, Jessie, displayed signs of having serious memory problems.
“We were quite naïve about it,” continued dad-of-four Paul, who has performed around the world as a musician and children’s author.
“Mum was getting annoyed. She was forgetting things. Something just wasn’t quite right.
“Mum and Dad were spending £800 a month on eating out. She wanted to go out for meals all the time. She would forget they had been out for lunch and asked to go someplace again for dinner.
“Eventually, she was diagnosed with a mild form of dementia.”
Paul’s 89-year-old dad, Stewart, was caring for Jessie, 88, but when he suffered a stroke the family was faced with some difficult decisions.
“We were advised that we needed to put them into care, but we couldn’t find anywhere that would take both of them,” Paul explained.
“After 67 years of marriage, there was no way we were splitting them up now.
“So my wife and I had the garage converted and my mum and dad live there. They have a bedroom, walk-in wet room, living room – everything they need – and we have a care package from the council.
“I can go in and see them four or five times a day, and if my dad’s in hospital my sister or I go in and be with Mum.
“I’ve probably only spent about half of the money on the conversion that I would have by now on care home fees – and they’re still living together.”
Paul describes his mum as the feisty matriarch of the family, while his dad was a hard-working slater and plasterer.
“We had a wonderful childhood and great holidays,” Paul smiled. “I feel this is payback time for all they did for us.
“It’s been two-and-a-half years since diagnosis and the medication has stopped it in its tracks. I just wish it had been started four years ago and we would still have more of my mum.” After such a strong reaction to Golden Rust, Paul decided he wanted to use the song to benefit Alzheimer Scotland.
All proceeds will go to the charity and 25% of sales from his album, Wilderness, if bought from his website before the end of April, will also be handed over to the organisation.
“It was comforting to know other people were going through this,” added Paul. “The song went from being something just for me to touching so many other people.”
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