The Secrets She Keeps: It’s no secret that this is deranged TV… but fun

Look, you’ve probably seen all this before. Have you ever sat through The Hand That Rocks The Cradle? What about Gone Girl? Or 2016’s under-appreciated Prevenge, by Alice Lowe?

Then you probably know what you’re getting with The Secrets She Keeps.

Jessica De Gouw is Instagram influencer Meghan, a mummy blogger with two children and pregnant with her third.

Her carefully curated life isn’t quite what it seems though. Behind closed doors her seemingly dream husband isn’t particularly happy.

Meghan makes friends with supermarket worker Agatha, who is also pregnant and more than a little lonely.

Could this friendship end badly? Well, that’s what we’re counting on.

Fans of twisty novels will have figured out what’s happening in this Aussie thriller already but that’s almost not the point.

The correct way to engage with television like this is to switch off your higher brain and go with the increasingly deranged nonsense as it stacks up over the next five weeks.

Who is Simon, the hunky friend of Jack and godfather to one of the children? What is Agatha’s ex-boyfriend’s role? And why does Agatha keep changing her story about how they conceived?

You suspect this could be easily worked out if you engaged your brain. Until then, mum’s the word.

The Secrets She Keeps BBC1, Monday, 9pm

The Kemps: All True BBC2, 9pm

A hilarious documentary about two puffed-up, self important pop star brothers?

We have one of those already – haven’t you seen Bros: After The Screaming Stops?

Unlike that real-life effort, the twins from Spandau Ballet, Martin and Gary Kemp, starred in a spoof documentary about their lives.

Sadly the Bros effort was a lot funnier. I won’t say the Kemps’ effort should have been called After The Laughing Stops, as it did have its moments.

But will I say I won’t watch any more of The Kemps?

This much is true…