True wealth lies in having a rich sense of self-respect

Tracey Wright, the ex-wife of a millionaire racehorse surgeon had the shock of her life last week when a judge bluntly told her she has no right to be supported for life by her former husband.

Instead Tracey, a former riding instructor who gave up work to bring up her two children, was told “get a job”.

Ian and Tracey split up in 2008 after 11 years of marriage. But the judge believes divorcees with children over the age of seven should not be dependant for ever on their former spouses and ought to work for a living.

Tracey is not happy with the ruling. She claims she’s been made to feel like a criminal for putting her kids first.

So who has the moral high ground on this one?

Well, while I totally understand her wish to raise her two children by giving them her full-time care and attention, there does come a time to say men (even millionaires) shouldn’t be seen as a meal ticket for life.

Tracey was receiving £75,000 a year from her ex-husband. But he claims he can’t continue to pay that amount when he retires. A fair point.

And Tracey, what’s wrong in getting out and earning your own dosh?

Women have rightly fought for equality but we can’t have it all our own way. With rights come responsibilities. Being married to a millionaire gave you a good lifestyle and you don’t see why that should be compromised because you are no longer husband and wife.

But surely your pride should tell you it is time to set your kids a good example and get back to work so you can pay your way? With the maintenance you will still get from their father you can afford to pay for good after-school child care. And you might actually get a sense of pride and satisfaction in bringing home some money for the family pot.

Being a “kept wife” isn’t really a job description. At 51, you still have a lot to give. And what better role model can your children have than a mum working and discovering a newfound sense of independence? Times have changed.

Men and women have a right to equality. But both have a part to play in contributing to the most important possession they share their children.

Tracey has been a hands-on mum while her two were growing up. She gave them her best while, presumably, their dad was working long hours and weekends. That was her choice.

But now it’s time to stop being dependant on the cash flow from her ex-husband and to get back to work.

Who knows she might even gain new self-respect and find she actually enjoys it?