Labour’s Jeremy Corbyn puts his election head on for TV

On TV last week Labour’s leadership field looked more like the inhabitants of Ten Acre Field, home of family favourite Worzel Gummidge.

Jeremy Corbyn who, given his politics, might have been expected to be on the left was in fact centre stage, looked less dishevelled than normal but still seemed to have struggled to have done his tie up.

Like Worzel Gummidge, Corbyn comes out with barely intelligible phrases last heard in the early ’80s when Jon Pertwee’s tatty bogle ruled the ratings, such as “nationalisation” and “solidarity”.

It would certainly liven the next hustings if he goes the whole Worzel and says: “I’ll be bum-twizzled,” before demanding: “A cup o’ tea an’ a slice o’ cake” for all workers.

The Labour leader in the early ’80s, Michael Foot, used to be compared to Worzel Gummidge due to his unkempt appearance and if Corbyn actually wins the leadership he’ll take Labour straight back to the sort of unelectable state they were in under Foot.

But of course Corbyn won’t win. He’s the straw man of the contest.

Labour MPs nominated him, not to win, but so they could debate his left-wing views, so that they could then rout his left-wing views.

Trouble is, it was Corbyn who got the most applause during the Newsnight hustings in Nuneaton.

And all summer long, while his competitors try to talk of the future, Corbyn will be banging on about Labour’s biggest disaster of their time in office and most potent vote loser. Not the economic crash, for which it’s possible to argue they were not entirely responsible, but the war in Iraq, the blame for which lies squarely at Tony Blair’s door.

While Corbyn wowed the crowd, Yvette Cooper sat alongside with a barely changing expression of concern that was reminiscent of Gummidge’s love interest, Aunt Sally.

And just as Una Stubbs’ character thought herself rather grand there’s a suspicion Cooper considers herself slightly above the fray.

That began to change last week with a set-piece speech and a turn in front of the Westminster press pack where she revealed husband Ed Balls wouldn’t be appearing on Strictly Come Dancing “because it would clash with filming in the jungle”.

But just as Aunt Sally was inscrutable, so many are still unsure about what Cooper stands for and why she is running for leader.

That may be a deliberate ploy.

If she can just keep out of trouble she could scoop enough votes, purely on the fact she’s recognisable and because she’s a woman, to win.

The other woman in the race is Liz Kendall who looks a bit like another Worzel actress, Lorraine Chase who played Dolly Clothes-Peg.

Appropriate, as Kendall took Andy Burnham down a peg or two when she cut across his claim that: “The party comes first” to tell him: “Country should come first”.

It was confirmation she’s the candidate with the most spark and originality and, on that basis, the best chance of winning in 2020.

But the front-runner, for reasons unknown, remains Andy Burnham.

He’s a sort of Jolly Jack character who wants to be everyone’s chum.

He’s keen to do down the political class who went to university and spent their working life in Westminster despite that accurately summing up his CV.

Or at least the best section of his CV.

Other bits include being at the Department of Health when the scandal of Mid Staffs hospital and the needless deaths there broke.

If he wins expect the Tories to throw that in his face at every opportunity.

They’ll try to portray him as a different kind of scarecrow the Batman villain of that name.

With hustings taking place all summer, many broadcast on TV and radio, it’ll be hard to get away from Labour’s less than fantastic four.

Hopefully, like Worzel Gummidge the contest will come to life.

More likely, like a lifeless scarecrow, it will lack substance.