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Ashley’s Story: ‘We have both missed out on so much. The care system does not realise how important these relationships can be’

Ashley Cameron (Alistair Linford)
Ashley Cameron (Alistair Linford)

ASHLEY CAMERON from Stirling was separated from her older brother when she was just three.

Now 27 and working for Labour MSP Kezia Dugdale, she sufferent a turbulent childhood and believes having her brother in her life would have given her crucial support and family ties.

I went from being in kinship care with my granny, who adopted my brother, to being in foster care.

When we did see each other it was so sporadic that we didn’t really get to know each other. We didn’t get that opportunity.

You’re maybe talking about us seeing each other twice a year. It would be most of the day on Boxing Day and there would maybe be one day in the summer. That’s not enough for a growing child.

The best picture I have of us is when I was five-years-old at the Wallace Monument and that’s only because my social worker had pre-arranged to take us out for the day. I think that’s one of the longest times I’ve spent in my brother’s company.

It has had a huge impact on how we’ve been able to bond. In terms of family relations, it has strained things quite a lot.

Brothers, sisters and strangers: Campaigners urge cared-for siblings to be kept together as the Sunday Post reveals the pain of thousands being torn apart

He is now a father of three beautiful girls. I’ve met one of them. I have these nieces I haven’t had the chance to bond with because contact was never encouraged. I hope to meet them all today.

I do feel as though we have both missed out. We have both had our challenges.

I remember asking regularly whether I could go to see my brother or whether we could go swimming or whatever and I was always told ‘yeah we’ll get round to it’.

I think not seeing him played a big part in how I was coping. I self-harmed a lot. Had I had my brother there, he’s the kind of guy that would have said:‘What are you doing? Come and talk to me and we will deal with this together.’

‘We are often ending the only loving relationship in their young lives’

I think the problem with the care system is they rip siblings apart so often that they don’t realise the importance of these relationships.

The thing I hold close to me is that he says he’s proud of me.

For any child, more so for children in care, having someone to tell you that, words can’t express how important that is.

Sunday Post View: It should be a basic human right to be kept with family