WE know they definitely exist. Those who have Christmas all sorted early. Not just one or two little extras to tick off the list.
That list they probably started last January. And have checked a lot more than twice.
Every present and item of food has been well and truly bought, wrapped or tucked away.
As I say, we know they exist – but Scone Spy isn’t one of them.
That’s why, as time ticks away louder than telly’s Countdown clock, we are still shopping. Frantically.
Stress levels are rising and something to relieve them is needed. We’ve come across Once Upon A Tart – if that name doesn’t intrigue you nothing will – in Glasgow’s Merchant City and the word quirky was coined for the place. Kooky and off-the-wall are others.
Gold pillars, black ceiling, black walls and pink. A lot of pink. Pink chairs, pink sideboard, pink pom-poms dangling by the window.
It’s an old art gallery and there’s a real sense of show about the whole place.
Every inch of the counter is filled with glass cake stands featuring a bewildering array of goodies.
The girl behind said counter senses my confusion and starts reeling off just a few of the tasty treats on offer.
Frankly, if she didn’t lose me at hello, she lost me somewhere between sponge and tart, cheesecake and cupcake.
It’s an absolutely fabulous selection and, suddenly feeling a lot more festive, a mince pie is first on our order.
That’s quickly followed by a scone – come on just because it’s Christmas you can’t break the habit of a lifetime.
A glance at the menu has the words pancakes and blueberries leaping out at us so we order that, too, along with a couple of toasty hot drinks.
We pick a table by a couple of red leather Chesterfield sofas scattered with British bulldog cushions.
While we wait for the food we read a bit more about the place and learn how they use organic flours and sugars and the best dark chocolate.
There’s obviously a deep love of food here and they say everything is baked in small batches to keep it fresh and varied.
When the pancakes arrive we are not disappointed. They’re in a big bowl, more soaked than drizzled in syrup, and covered in succulent blueberries.
The mince pie is heated and has a crisp pastry and a gorgeously gooey filling.
The scone has homemade stamped all over and comes with two tiny cute jars, one jam and one clotted cream.
The time it takes to leisurely digest all of this is eating into the all-important shopping, but frankly, we couldn’t care less.
You can pop in for a quick bite, but just settling down and letting some festive goodwill wash over you is much more appealing.
Warm Welcome 9/10 Location, Location 7/10 Mince Pie Score 8/10
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