SHOUTING: “Have I turned into the Invisible Man or something?”
As a tactic for getting served when the bar staff seem oblivious to your presence, despite you standing right in front of the mahogany bar with money in your hand and a thirsty expression on your coupon, it’s not the best.
It tends to get the landlord’s back up for a start. Though it did provoke one of the best rejoinders I’ve ever heard.
A chap who appeared to have been somewhat “over-served” shouted that in a busy Guildford Arms in Edinburgh and, with impressive wit, the barkeep shouted: “Who said that?”
Laugh? I almost bought my own beer.
It’s not always easy getting a round in quickly.
Clicking your fingers? Tapping on the bar? Waving your money around? Extending your arms outwards in front of you like some kind of drunken Kate Winslet in Titanic?
To be honest, try any of that caper and you’d last about two minutes in a Glasgow boozer.
But the trick to getting served is a lot simpler than you’d think.
David Eden-Sangwell, owner of BartenderHQ, a resource for bartenders who want to move up to the craft cocktail scene, has some tips on getting a round in at peak times…
1 Don’t wave your money around. According to David, there’s “nothing more irritating” than people who do this.
2 Simple as it may seem, be friendly. It is important to smile and make eye contact.
3 You might need to work to claim your position at the front but once there, don’t stray from it.
Bartenders may well be covering one particular section of the bar and if you move to try to get their attention, you could be disappearing from the view of the one person who was actually going to serve you next, and to the end of the queue of a different bartender.
4 A big no-no is forgetting, or not knowing, what drinks your mates are having then having to go back and ask them while the bartender waits.
5 Order all your drinks at once. A good bartender will be able to arrange your order in their head, so they know what to pour and when.
If you want a Guinness (yes, please), they’ll know to pour that first and can sort things so they don’t need to make multiple trips to the fridge.
6 If you have to order in stages, try to put the more time-consuming drinks first.
A frozen daiquiri can be buzzing away in a blender while the rest of your order’s being poured.
7 If the bar is busy, avoid ordering more complex drinks.
This isn’t such a big issue but it’s still probably best to steer clear of things like mojitos at peak times.
8 If you want to get the bartender on side, order bottled instead of draft beers.
They’re a lot quicker to serve and have the added benefit that you can carry more back to your mates.
9 Due to the rise of contactless card payments, the amount of tips being given has fallen in recent years.
But if you do have cash ready to tip, it’s going to make you stand-out to the bartender.
10 Build a friendship with a bartender – and tip.
The best advice for getting served quickly is going to a bar regularly and building up a rapport with a bartender.
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