DONALD TRUMP is a great many things to a great many people.
Most of them are unprintable, but one thing is for sure – he isn’t a civil engineer!
Because as every decent civil engineer or, indeed, any decent human – certainly those with more than half a brain (which might rule out a great many of his supporters) – knows, if you are going to drain a swamp, you don’t firstly turn it into a cesspit.
Yes, the President of the United States has been filling American politics with all manner of ordure and filth, but not pulling the plug.
Not only that, but it’s muck and manure very much of The Donald’s own making.
He promised throughout his presidential campaign more than two years ago he would take on what he claimed was the corrupt power structure of the US federal government.
He declared that graft was rampant in Washington DC and he would “drain the swamp” of the lobbyists whom he argued had hurt the country’s working class.
Drain The Swamp became a winning slogan, a rallying cry that resonated with his support, especially the white, working class of the Midwest, who felt disenfranchised and forgotten by President Barack Obama and his administration.
They wanted real change, jobs, national security, money in their pockets and the old guard in Washington flushed out and replaced with the new.
And Donald Trump was the man they believed would deliver that. To give them hope and, with his unique brand of wire brush and Dettol, clean the political swamp.
I wonder what they think now.
Probably not much, after two of his closet aides, his former lawyer Michael Cohen and his ex-campaign manager Paul Manafort, were found guilty last week, in separate court cases, of some very serious crimes.
In the Cohen case, Trump is accused of being involved in the payment of hush money to two of his alleged ex-lovers, adult actress Stormy Daniels and model Karen McDougal.
Of course, if true that would be a serious breach of election rules.
In Manafort’s case, Trump’s former campaign chief was convicted of tax evasion and fraud on an industrial level following a justice department probe into alleged Russian election meddling.
These are crimes that could see both men thrown behind bars for many years, even Cohen, who has turned supergrass and agreed to a plea deal with state prosecutors for a lighter sentence.
Trump’s many opponents, political and civilian, are having a field day and making hay over these convictions and his alleged involvement.
Rightly, they are demanding justice is done, arguing till they’re red, white and blue in the face that he must be dragged into court.
That he should be impeached. Especially because, as President, he should be above reproach, not the law.
However, The Donald is doing what The Donald always does, no matter how wrong he is, no matter how much the evidence is weighted against him.
Yes, he doesn’t give a damn about what he says or who he hurts.
When wounded, as he clearly is, he goes on the offensive.
When others would be contrite and defensive, he attacks with both barrels.
When many would think it smarter to dive for cover, he doesn’t fall on his sword, he sharpens his blade. He plays to the crowd, not the opposition gallery – and they love him all the more for it.
Until now, it has worked a treat, and I have a sneaking suspicion that it is going to keep on working.
“It’s a witch hunt!” he cries.
“Looking for a good lawyer, don’t retain the services of Michael Cohen,” he Tweets.
“Paul Manafort is a good man,” he tells reporters.
His devoted supporters lap it up.
For the time being, he is Teflon Trump and can’t be touched as he holds all the cards.
Congress has a Republican majority, and I doubt they will ever impeach him.
As sitting President, he believes he can’t be indicted.
He also thinks that even if “good man” Manafort is sentenced to 1,000 years’ hard labour, as President, he can immediately pardon him of all crimes.
Worse, if Trump himself come through it all unscathed, there are many who believe it will make him even stronger and a dead cert for a second term in office.
And we thought our political system was corrupt and rank rotten.
Ours smells of roses compared to that immoral, unethical, unjust, fetid cesspit.