Early mornings: Rise, smile and shine or rest and be thankful?

A lot of people are not fans of an early morning (Alamy)

His top tips include rising before dawn, meditating and cultivating a positive mental attitude from the moment you leap enthusiastically out of bed like a bleary-eyed jack-in-the-box.

But is there actually any benefit in being the one to catch the worm?

Two Sunday Post writers pull on their dressing gowns, comb their hair and ask if getting up with the lark is really all it’s cracked up to be?

Chae Strathie: Zzzzzzzz

I DON’T trust morning people.

Sorry if this includes you. It’s nothing personal. It’s just that I think there’s something deeply suspicious about you and your ilk.

What on earth are up to at that time in the morning?

What are you planning, you and your little fresh-faced, bright-eyed friends, scurrying around making healthy breakfasts and buying newspapers while the ink is still wet on the pages?

I suspect there’s some sort of sinister conspiracy afoot. A grand scheme to do away with normal sleeping people as they slumber, then take over the world and change the system of time to make every part of the day morning. Ban afternoons, eradicate evenings, forbid night times.

You evil, dawn-loving swines.

You know who got up early? Genghis Khan, that’s who. Up at 5.30am every day, five-mile jog, bowl of muesli and a wholemeal bagel, quick shower then slaughter and pillaging for the rest of the day.

You don’t want to end up like old Genghis, do you?

Me? I’d be one of the first to be wrapped up in my duvet and tossed into some dark hole come the Early Bird Revolution.

I’m not good in the mornings. Actually, I’m not good at any time of day, but that’s not the point, OK?

I’d happily sign a petition to have night time extended so that morning doesn’t officially start until noon. Anyone getting up before then would be prosecuted.

Where did we get the idea that doing stuff early in the morning is such a merry hoot anyway? I can understand why our electrically-challenged forefathers had to work according to the rising and setting of the sun, but we have lightbulbs. We can see things at night now. Try it. It’s amazing.

We don’t have to go to bed when the sun goes down and get up when it pops its stupid yellow face over the horizon the next morning.

So stop doing it. It’s annoying.

In any case, night is much more interesting. Dark, mysterious, charismatic.

Just look at what comes out at night. Foxes, wolves, bats, owls, tigers. Cool animals.

And which creatures rise nice and early? Chaffinches, wrens, warblers, worms (for the catching of). Feathered idiots with an irritating line in anti-social noise pollution.

It’s no contest really.

So this bouncy American chap who reckons getting up at silly o’clock makes you a better person should be taken with a pinch of salt.

In fact, why not go back to bed now, get a few hours shut-eye and get up again in time for afternoon tea followed by a night of fun.

Come on. Come over to the dark side . . .

Ali Kirker: Top of the morning

You know those incredibly annoying people who spring out of bed the minute the alarm goes off? The ones who are unnaturaly wide awake the moment their toes touch the floor?

Those freaks who like a wee chat about how sunny it is and what they’re doing today?

You know the ones I mean, those wittering fools who the rest of the population tries to avoid until at least midday?

Yes. That’s me.

I’m not going to pretend I absolutely love getting up. I like my bed as much as the next exhausted mum.

Just that moment of moving from lying down to being upright, I mean. That’s hard.

But getting up is rubbish, whether you get out of bed at five, six, seven or 11 o’clock.

Once I’m out of bed, though?

I love the peace, the tranquillity of being the only one up.

Just like that life coach bloke says in his new book – you can Get. Things. Done.

I like to get life’s annoying jobs out of the way at 7 am.

Need to phone a call centre?

Do it as early as you can.

Then enoy feeling smug.

Fridge needing defrosted?

Get on with it, lazy.

And, yes, I have been known to pull on my trainers and do a workout before work.

(I know you’re all starting to hate me now. I can’t help it.)

I’m not superwoman, though.

My favourite time of day is usually spent curled up with a book and a massive pot of tea.

I’ve even got a mini duvet in case it’s a wee bit chilly.

There are downsides to being up with the lark.

I’m totally dull on a night out.

By 10.30pm I start thinking it must be time for bed soon and make not-very-subtle “let’s go” faces to my husband, who wants to party on and pretends he can’t see me.

I rarely see midnight and the one and only time I stayed up all night then went straight to work, I actually thought I might die.

You’d think that because I get up so early, I’d always be super-punctual, too.

But I’m famous for being late.

The problem is, I think I’ve got tons of time before I have to leave for wherever I need to be. So I try to fit in loads of different tasks.

And then you can guarantee I will lose all track of time, end
up running in to an important appointment late, sweaty-faced, hair-flying and buttons done up wrongly.

Once I even got to an airport and realised I was wearing one black shoe and one navy. And I’d been up since stupid o’clock.

There’s only one thing for it. I need to get up earlier.

What do you prefer – an early morning or a long lie? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter!