Work ethic is alive and well in politics but it’s game over for Candy Crush MP

Nigel Mills’ Candy Crush embarassment does not reflect the efforts of most Parliamentarians.

There’s a picture often shared on the internet showing a full House of Commons next to an image of a nearly empty chamber.

The first is said to come from a debate on MPs’ expenses, the second from a debate on cutting benefits. Unfortunately for those determined to do down politics, it’s utter nonsense.

The dates given for the debates don’t add up and one dogged defender of democracy even clocked that the hairstyles looked out of date.

She tracked down the actual images and found that the first photo is from the first day of term in the last parliament while the picture of empty benches comes from a more recent backbench debate about benefits.

Since it didn’t involve a vote, in effect it was just a talking shop. And MPs can and should find better things to do than pack the chamber for a pointless debate.

For example, there’s the vital work of select committees, one of the most vibrant and hard-working parts of the Westminster machine.

Those Facebook memes of lazy, absent MPs. Not true. Well worth a read: http://t.co/3fbwtK0RcJ pic.twitter.com/igoEpJwnwO

— Steven Buckley (@stevenbuckley) November 29, 2014

Last week there was a bit of grit in the workings, though, when it emerged that previously-unheard of Tory Nigel Mills spent almost the entirety of a Work and Pensions committee hearing playing mindless computer game Candy Crush on his iPad instead of listening to the evidence.

Given he has a majority of just over 500 it’s likely he’ll have plenty of time for computer games after May, though he won’t be able to play them on a taxpayer-funded iPad.

Mills’ mistake was raised in the chamber last week at the one session that MPs actually make an effort to attend because it is the most marvellous free entertainment.

Not the pantomime of Prime Minister’s Questions (PMQs) but the high comedy of business questions.

On the face of it, this is the driest part of the parliamentary week, at which the Leader of the House announces what will take place over the next seven days.

But since William Hague took over as Leader of the House it has become a genuinely witty and entertaining turn.

Shadow leader Angela Eagle, who can basically roam where she wants in her response, has raised her game to match Hague’s notorious razor-sharp brain. They really should put it on primetime telly.

Making the most of Mills’ embarrassment she described the state of the Government as: “Less like Candy Crush and more like parliamentary zombie apocalypse”.

And, having some fun with the Prime Ministers’ slip last week when he made up the word “masosadism” at PMQs, she quipped: “They have even resorted to masosadism inflicting pain on each other while also inflicting pain on themselves at the same time.”

But Hague had a ready reply to that. He said: “We on the Government side know the definitions between those words: sadism is when the Shadow Chancellor insists on giving us a speech and masochism is when we ask him to read it out again.”

After the initial exchange, backbenchers get to ask Hague for time to debate their pet subject.

This ranges from the nutty such as Tory Neil Parish asking for a counterpoint to vegan month in the parliamentary canteens by holding a “red meat month” to the more serious such as Labour’s Kelvin Hopkins raising the issue of addiction.

As he outlined concerns about addiction to gambling, alcohol, drugs and even food, over-excitable Tory Philip Davies bizarrely and stupidly shouted “Ban them all!”

Business Questions between Eagle and William Hague is great entertainment but, like many shows at this time of year, the audience interaction is decidedly hit and miss.