There are various reasons why we often look at our politicians and shiver.
Some, of course, don’t see the world as we do, others are too soft or too tough. And at the heart of it, you sometimes wonder what sort of person would want to run a whole country, anyway!
Occasionally, one comes along who changes history, who saves the country from war or gives us all a few more bob in our pockets. However, there is another kind of politician, the sort that makes us laugh out loud, and not because their party is rubbish. Frankly, it’s because they are completely bonkers!
The news that comic Al Murray will contest the South Thanet election, up against Nigel Farage and vowing to drink him under the table, is just the latest in a long line of spoof parties and madcap MP hopefuls. However, among Britain’s weird-and-wonderful parties, we have picked a Top 10 who stood out.
MONSTER RAVING LOONY PARTY
No figure ranks higher than the late, great Screaming Lord Sutch.
A singer, musician and all-round madcap, David Edward Sutch also known as the 3rd Earl of Harrow was from Hampstead in London, born in 1940.
If things were more than a bit austere then, he dedicated his 58 years with us to raising a smile, causing a bit of lighthearted chaos, and bringing some much-needed colour to politics.
By the 60s, alongside his musical pursuits, he stood in elections for the National Teenage Party. In the wake of the Profumo Scandal, he stood in 1963 and got 208 votes.
By the time he took on Harold Wilson a year later, that had risen to 518. And 20 years on, he founded the Official Monster Raving Loony Party and contested Bermondsey’s by-election.
Sutch would often get pretty respectable numbers of votes, in his top hat and outrageous clothes, and when he even got many hundreds of votes in a head-to-head with Maggie Thatcher, the deposit to stand was raised from £150 to £500.
Needless to say, that didn’t put him off.
David Owen, who’d once been British Foreign Secretary, got fewer votes than Sutch in Bootle’s 1990 by-election!
Within a few days, the Social Democratic Party had been disbanded.
When the British National Party got its first councillor in 1993, Sutch had the perfect response, pointing out that the Official Loonies already had six.
His fame, or infamy, was such that when Heineken did one of their “Only Heineken can do this” lager adverts on telly, it showed Sutch at No 10 as Prime Minister!
RAVING LOONY GREEN GIANT PARTY
Splits within the original Loonies saw the Raving Loony Green Giant Party begin in 1989, and its leader would make another switch later, to the Conservative Party.
There have been many party switches lately, and it’s all becoming a bit like the football transfer scene.
But only a certain type of someone would quit the Monster Raving Loony Party, to join the Raving Loony Green Giant Party!
ROCK ’N’ ROLL LOONY PARTY
Next there was the Rock ’n’ Roll Loony Party, who wanted to make it illegal to be called a party unless you could guarantee non-stop merrymaking.
Being Britain, many other parties have sprung up which were inspired by the Screaming Lord.
We know many of our readers enjoy a bit of rock ’n’ roll, though so we had to mention this lot.
THE NEW MILLENNIUM BEAN PARTY
This was formed in 2000 by Captain Beany, a Welsh charity raiser.
Born Barry Kirk, he changed his name in May, 1991, and his party vowed to let children choose their parents.
They got 159 votes in Cardiff Central in 2005, no doubt leaving many a child disappointed . . .
MONGOLIAN BARBECUE GREAT PLACE TO PARTY PARTY
Wimbledon is still best-known for those strange TV creatures who live on the Common, but in the 1997 election, the star of the area was the Mongolian Barbecue Great Place to Party Party.
Their aim was to gain support for a local Mongolian restaurant.
Candidate Matt Kirby won a paltry 112 votes and the restaurant later closed, despite his party’s efforts in the corridors of power.
SCOTTISH JACOBITE PARTY
The good people of Cumbria, Northumberland, and elsewhere would have cared a lot if the Scottish Jacobite Party had won their 2005 election.
Making Alex Salmond look like the most ardent Anglophile around, they planned to make anywhere north of Morecambe Bay and North Yorkshire Scottish.
They also wanted 31% of the UK’s assets, because Scotland makes up 31% of it on the map.
They didn’t get many votes.
MISS GREAT BRITAIN PARTY
Founded in 1998, only former Miss Great Britain contestants were allowed to be members of this party.
One of their main aims was for us all to have “a bank holiday to encourage everyone to look fabulous for the day”.
They apparently still have a website, but haven’t been registered as a party for years.
MILITANT ELVIS PARTY
Those mavericks among our readers must have fancied The Militant Elvis Party.
Established in 2001 by David Bishop, also known as Lord Biro, they have some proper policies, such as looking after the environment and saving rainforests.
They also wanted to place giant posters of Graham Norton at Heathrow Airport to “discourage undesirable foreigners from entering Britain”.
THE TEDDY BEAR ALLIANCE
Another TV funnyman, Dom Joly, formed his own Teddy Bear Alliance.
He stood against prominent Tory Alan Clark in Kensington and Chelsea, hiring hundreds of teddy bear outfits and staging mock protests.
Fifth out of nine candidates, it’s not bad for a first attempt. You do wonder how those with fewer votes felt. Probably went home to hug their teddy bears and weep.
THE WITCHERY TOUR PARTY
Last but not least, The Witchery Tour Party stood in the Lothian Region and Scottish Parliament elections, with highwayman Adam Lyal pledging to “wear clothes and white make-up to impersonate a highwayman hanged in 1811, every time I am at Parliament”.
One of their candidates got almost 2,000 votes.
Maybe, finally, someone would have made the real politicians Stand And Deliver.
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