How pushy a parent are you?

Encourage your child but tame that tiger.

We all know and recognise the mum or dad who is convinced their child is the brainiest in the classroom, the most skilful on the sports field and the nimblest in ballet class.

Amy Chua wrote a bestselling parenting book called Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Achievement and success was everything, she claimed, and mum needed to set the targets.

Now Tanith Carey has written a comeback called Taming the Tiger Parent. It’s all about putting your child’s well-being first in a competitive world.

Her view is that standing on the touchline urging your child to go for goal isn’t a good idea.

She has backed it up with research to show kids are appalled and frightened when their parents behave aggressively at school sports day.

Tanith reckons that sport is where ‘eagle’ dads rather than ‘tiger’ mums come to the fore.

Ex-footballer Gary Lineker has pointed out the dangers of this.

He said: “I’ve stood on the sidelines of countless games over the years and I’ve heard the drivel and witnessed the damage it does.”

So caught between these two schools of thought being pushy or standing back what are parents supposed to do? A bit of both I think.

Encourage your children to be the best they can be without making them feel inadequate if they don’t meet the standards you have in mind.

Not every little boy can be a mini David Beckham on the pitch. Not every little girl is a Darcey Bussell ballet star in the making. Of course we want our children to shine but there are many ways of doing that.

Not everyone can be a star. And when we see our child’s achievements as a way of reflecting our success as a parent that’s not healthy.

One of my favourite sporting stars, Chris Hoy, has just become a dad. His son Callum was born this week.

The winner of six Olympic gold medals tweeted: “I’m amazed and delighted.”

So you should be Chris. It’s the best of news. But wait a few years before buying Callum his first bike the wee lad has a lot to live up to.