Feature

Someone To Turn To

Depression can make you feel alone in the world but help is out there. With Samaritans’ 24:7 Day later this month, Ali Kirker finds out about the options available.

Depression is often thought of as an older person’s illness but doctors are increasingly seeing younger patients with it. 

Joe, now 20, went through a period of depression when he was 16 and, although he confided in family and friends, he found using the email help service provided by Samaritans invaluable. Joe (right) is now a Samaritans volunteer.

Some people would think 16 is young to get depression. What happened? 

It was due to a relationship break-up. At the time, I felt like I had no purpose or motivation to do the things I used to enjoy doing. The negative thoughts and feelings I had became overwhelming and affected me badly — enjoyment, passion and happiness seemed to just vanish out of my life. It lasted for about 10 weeks — not that long, but it was horrible at the time. 

What made you contact Samaritans? 

After a time, I felt like I needed a new opinion on things. Although my parents and friends were very supportive, I’m of the mindset that a burden shared is a burden halved or in this case, quartered! Samaritans gave me someone else to speak to about my negative feelings. I’d heard of them before and their website looked welcoming, so I emailed them. It was around this point I began to feel a bit happier, and contacting Samaritans was the final link in that process of healing. 

Did you find it easier to communicate by email, rather 
than speaking to someone?

Yes. I felt email was easier to use than the phone, as I could take my time in composing my feelings in just the right way — there wasn’t that feeling of having to immediately speak on the phone. I only needed to email them twice, to gain a final bit of clarity on my situation. 

What made you decide to volunteer at Samaritans?

A combination — the fact I’d had that depressive episode was the main reason behind it, but also I’d always been told that I was sensitive to others’ problems and I realised I’d become a ‘go-to’ person for my friends with their problems. 

Do you think it helps that you’ve been through a hard time yourself and used Samaritans?

I think it can help, definitely. Emotional support is the bread and butter of Samaritans, and it can help if you’ve been through the situation yourself. That said, there’s such a wide range of problems that people contact us with that you can never be able to personally identify with all situations. But all Samaritans volunteers have a degree of empathy and sensitivity about them.

What’s your role as a volunteer?

Just to listen. Samaritans doesn’t offer advice, as we’re of the belief that whatever we think of, the caller will no doubt have thought of it — and ultimately, they’re ringing or contacting us for someone to talk to, not to get advice from. 

Do people come back to you after they’ve talked to you to let you know how things have worked out? 

Yes, people contact us to say ‘Thank you for being there’ and it’s great to hear. When that sort of call ends, I’m always seen with a smile on my face!

What would you say to anyone who’s thinking of using Samaritans but who feels nervous about getting in touch?

It’s completely understandable that you’re perhaps feeling apprehensive, or nervous, or unsure what to expect when that voice at the other end of the phone answers. The volunteer, though, will give you all the time and space that you need to talk through whatever it is that’s bothering you. Nothing’s too trivial or too shocking — we’ve heard it all. It’s all confidential too, so there’s no worry of anyone outside of Samaritans finding out that you’ve contacted us. 

Philippa Cochrane is 37 and from Stirling. 

Philippa was diagnosed with depression in 1998 — but says that once she got her diagnosis, she realised that she’d actually had bouts of depression since her early teens. Like many who suffer from depression, it was a long time before Philippa felt she could confide in friends. “It was about another 10 years or so before I was able to let friends know I was unwell and I still find it very hard to do,” she admits. 

Philippa previously lived in England and had dealt with Depression Alliance and found it helpful. When she moved to Scotland, she found out about Depression Alliance Scotland — a similar but separate organisation. She joined a self-help group, but admits going for the first time wasn’t easy.

“It was nerve-racking, but worth it. Going to one of these groups is a chance to help yourself but also to help others. You can talk about things that have worked for you and you feel you’re talking to people who really understand.”

Interestingly, Philippa says that during periods she’s well, she can’t remember how bad she really feels when she is depressed. “That’s no bad thing in some ways. What I do know is that everything is much, much harder when you’re feeling depressed. Even simple decisions such as what and when to eat become major problems. I have to try to follow some sort of basic routine to make sure I do the simplest things. The days just drift — I can’t concentrate and don’t get anything done. And I can’t bear to be with anyone. I can’t make eye contact and I avoid people. I forget that I’ve gone through periods of depression in the past and just feel so black. That’s why it’s good I’ve told friends I do get depressed. They’ll remind me that I’ve felt this way before and that I will get through it.”

Philippa has built up a good relationship with her GP and says there’s a place for using medication in treating depression — but there are plenty of other things that can help, too. “It can take time to get the right medication that’s going to work for you,” she explains. “But there are other, more immediate things, that can give you a brief lift. You have to find what works for you — for me it’s exercise, gardening, talking to a friend or even just taking a walk.”

Philippa urges anyone who thinks they might have depression not to suffer alone. “If you can’t talk to anyone, call a helpline such as Depression Alliance Scotland — I know from experience it can help,” she says. “See your GP. There’s no need to feel embarrassed, because about one in five of their appointments is for depression and they’ll be able to help. Or talk to friends, family and colleagues. I’ve learned from experience that the most important thing is to get it checked out and get help. It’s just a shame it took me 15 years to learn that. But I’m glad I have.” 

The doctor’s view — from Channel 4’s Dr Pixie McKenna.

“Depression is twice as common in women as men. The person generally feels worthless, tired and sad, with a loss of appetite and problems sleeping or concentrating. They can also be pre-occupied by morbid thoughts,” explains Dr McKenna. “Doctors refer to ‘life events’ which can trigger depression — it could be death, a separation or financial burden.” Often, though, there may be no obvious trigger — some people who appear to have nothing to worry about can end up with depression.

There are different treatments available. “Recognition that there is a problem is often the first step. Symptoms frequently improve with talking therapy or counselling, and medication may never be needed,” says Dr McKenna. “However, tablets do have a place. There is often a pre-conceived notion that resorting to medication is in some way giving in. It’s the opposite and successful medication allows you to ‘get on with it’.” Dr McKenna warns that tablets aren’t a miracle cure. “Your symptoms may become much worse in the first few days after you start medication,” she says. “The other key thing is that they won’t work immediately — they often take two to four weeks to kick in. Persevere — most people stop taking them too early as they don’t see any benefit.”

The Handbag Doctor by Dr Pixie McKenna £9.99, published by Kyle Cathie.

HAVING IT ALL?

Not that long ago, depression was something no-one felt they could admit to. But, in the past few years, several people in the public eye who appear to ‘have it all’ opened up about their battles with it.

Coronation Street’s Beverley Callard had a complete “serious breakdown” last year and was absent from our screens for five months as she battled to get better. “I now feel able to speak about what I went through and thank everyone for their support,” she said. “I feel well on the road to recovery, but it’s important to try to help lift the stigma that makes life so difficult for the one in four people who experience mental health problems.”

TV presenter Trisha Goddard has suffered both depression and breast cancer — and says she found it harder to deal with depression. “It’s harder to deal with mental illness because you don’t have the support like you do with cancer,” she explains. “With breast cancer people talk about it, wear pink ribbons, people are open about it and there’s far more support. With depression, that support isn’t always there.”

Oscar-winning actress Emma Thompson suffered from depression during her divorce from actor Kenneth Branagh. “I don’t think I stayed sane,” she said. “I should have sought professional help — divorce is a ghastly, painful business. But worked saved me. That and meeting Greg. He picked up the pieces and put them together again.”

Simon Cowell admitted recently on America’s Oprah show that he is a sufferer. “I get very, very down. Pretty much depression,” he said. “But what I always say is, ‘You’re taking yourself too seriously, so stop it. At the same time, you should never put a painted smile on. When you’re feeling down, you’re feeling down.”

Fiona Phillips feels so strongly about depression that she thinks it should be featured more on TV to make it easier for those suffering. “In the current climate –– with people losing their jobs, homes and sometimes loved ones due to the strain of coping with the recession – Coronation Street bosses could highlight the illness in a storyline,” she says. Fiona says that, looking back, she suffered depression while dealing with her mum’s battle with Alzheimer’s and the stress of hosting GMTV. “I had a breakdown. When I look back, I realise I was severely depressed.” 

The symptoms

People with depression usually have a few of the following symptoms

Tiredness and loss of energy
Persistent sadness
Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness
Avoiding other people — even close friends and family
Loss of appetite
Sleeping problems, including waking in the night or waking up too early
Inability to concentrate or make even simple decisions
Not being able to ‘bounce back’ — it’s much more than just a bad couple of days

Further help

Depression Alliance Scotland — Runs a helpline on 0845 123 23 20, open Mon.-Fri., 11 am-1 pm and 2-4 pm. See www.dascot.org 

Samaritans — For 24-hour emotional support. The helpline is open 24 hours a day on 08457 90 90 90. You can also email jo@samaritans.org  or write a letter to Chris, PO Box 9090, Stirling FK8 2SA. See www.samaritans.org  24:7 Day falls on July 24.