‘I’m not ready yet to let go of Anne-Marie’

Margaret Clayton meets a family who are still coming to terms with the death of their much-loved daughter ANNE-MARIE COCHRANE had a smile which lit up the world. And on every visit to Rachel House, her face spoke of her happiness at coming “home”, from the moment the family car turned into the road where the hospice stands. The 18-year-old died in March last year but her family is still getting help from Rachel House.  They visit regularly and receive bereavement counselling which is helping them come to terms with the loss of their much-loved daughter.  “I’m not ready yet to let go of her,” explained her mum, Anne, at her Glasgow home as she looked through family photo albums which chart every stage of her daughter’s life. Anne-Marie was a happy, normal, pretty little girl when she was born. She was a lively, mischievous toddler who loved to play in the garden with her sisters Catherine, Agnes and Annette, and bounce on her daddy Andy’s knee as he sang nursery rhymes. Then at the age of four she developed meningitis. She was rushed into Yorkhill Hospital where she was critically ill for weeks on end. While undergoing tests the hospital discovered she suffered from a condition which she’d been born with called Cerabella Ataxia which causes degeneration of the brain. The family was told their little girl’s brain cells were dying off and wouldn’t be replaced by healthy new cells. Doctors said she couldn’t hope to live for more than a few years. But Anne-Marie proved them wrong. She was breaking all medical records as she reached her 10th birthday.  When she was 15 her doctors acknowledged they couldn’t understand why this brave teenage girl was still alive. Sadly Anne-Marie died just three days short of her 19th birthday. And right to the very end she was inspiring people with her sense of humour and her love of life. “She’d lost the use of her limbs, she couldn’t feed herself or talk. She was totally helpless and vulnerable,” said Andy Cochrane. “But she never felt sorry for herself or asked us ‘why has this happened to me?’ Instead she had a big smile for everyone and taught us how to get pleasure from the simplest things.” Anne-Marie was one of Rachel House’s first patients when it opened five years ago. She was an instant favourite with the staff because of her sunny personality. She became a regular visitor and her mum, dad and sisters spent many a happy time with her enjoying the gardens and meals together in the big, bright dining room.  The best times they say were when they went out in the hospice mini-bus for trips to the beach or a nearby park for a picnic. “It may not sound much,” says 21-year-old sister Agnes, “but when you have a handicapped person in the family it’s very hard to organise outings together. Rachel House helped this to happen for us.  “We have so many good memories of sitting on the beach with her, just watching the waves lapping on the shore.  “Now my sister has left us, we look back on those days together as a family and we are so grateful to the staff for allowing us to share these magic moments.” When Anne-Marie died, there was only one place where the Cochranes wanted to hold her funeral — at Rachel House.  Kay Gilchrist, the hospice chaplain, organised the service and the 18-year-old’s favourite music was played — Angel Eyes by Wet Wet Wet. “We left with a real feeling of peace,” says Andy. “It was a celebration of the life of a very special girl.” The Cochranes know only too well the hard road to recovery which every bereaved family has to walk.  But rather than bemoan their sense of loss, they have the grace to say, “We were lucky. We managed to get our daughter into Rachel House. Other families are still on the waiting list.” Anne Cochrane summed it up. “I’d urge everyone to dig deep into their pockets and help The Sunday Post to build another hospice for terminally-ill children in Scotland who need care.  “It’s only when you’ve been in this situation you know what a difference the love and support of others makes. And at Rachel House they know more about love than any place else on earth.”

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