The baby who came back from the dead
 All she ever wanted was to see Jilly smiling and enjoying her life.
Today that is happening. But for many years Maggie’s battle was a tough and lonely one. There were moments of despair and times she came very close to feeling crushed by the burden of keeping home life happy for all her family, while giving Jilly all the love and care she needs.
Three years ago, however, Maggie discovered Rachel House and it was, she says, “like sunshine just flooded our lives”.
Last week at their home in Knightswood, which is filled with photos of Jilly and her twin brother Colin, Maggie told us her story.
Premature
“In November 1986 I was pregnant, looking forward to the birth of our second child. My husband Robert and I already had one boy, Gordon. One afternoon I was visiting my sister Betty in Drumchapel and I went into premature labour at her house. Twins, Colin and Jilly, were born eight weeks prematurely right there in Betty’s house.
“The babies were rushed to Yorkhill Hospital and kept in until they put on weight.
“Everything was going well until Jilly was eight weeks and developed a condition called broncholitis. She began having spasms and apnoea attacks which stopped her breathing.”
When Jilly’s breathing stopped she was put on a ventilator. Her head was swollen with fluid and her brain had been starved of oxygen. Doctors told Maggie and Robert that if their daughter survived she would have brain damage.
The first hurdle, though, was to keep Jilly alive.
“For days she was on a life-support machine. “The doctors asked us to make a decision about whether or not it should be switched off. I looked at my tiny little dark-haired girl and knew I just couldn’t make that decision.”
A few days later Jilly “died”.
Maggie and Robert were heartbroken. “I’d prayed so hard to God to save our baby,” she said, “and I couldn’t believe we’d lost her.”
Then, to the astonishment of the hospital staff, minutes after she’d been pronounced dead, Jilly started breathing again.
Maggie will never forget that moment. “I knew then that I was going to do everything in my power to hold on to our wee girl and give her the best chance in life.”
It wasn’t easy. Jilly had been brain damaged, but with care and patience her parents and family encouraged her to play, sing and enjoy music.
Then, in 1999, Jilly went back to Yorkhill for an operation to make her breathing easier.
Complications developed and it went horribly wrong. When Jilly came home she was unable to be fed without a tube and needed round-the-clock care.
Dangers
Maggie was only able to sleep for a few hours at a time because she had to be alert for changes in Jilly’s breathing. There are always dangers of another apnoea attack.
“At that time, there were moments in the middle of the night when Jilly was in terrible pain and I felt so guilty. I used to say to myself, ‘maybe I shouldn’t have asked God to have her back’. But she’d look up at me with her big eyes, hold on to my finger and I knew Jilly was meant to survive.”
A nurse, Mary McLaughlin, comes in for a few days a week to give Maggie a break and she has developed a close and loving bond with mother and daughter.
The minister and congregation of St Andrew’s Church of Scotland in Drumchapel have given Maggie a huge amount of support and comfort.
“The Rev. John Purvis is always there for me on the days when I feel I can’t cope. He is only a phone call away. Some days are difficult and when my husband Robert died from asbestosis three years ago I really wondered if I could go on.
“Then it was suggested that Jilly and I could visit Rachel House and at first I wasn’t too sure. I thought a children’s hospice would be a gloomy place. The first time we went I was really apprehensive. I didn’t know what I’d let myself in for. But in a very short time I realised how much love there is in that place. When you’re hurting, it just reaches out and wraps itself around you and you feel cared for.”
Jilly goes to Rachel House every eight weeks and Maggie always goes with her.
Relax
“It’s like a holiday for us both. I can relax knowing Jilly has someone to play with and look after all her needs. She loves sitting on the nurses’ knees while they talk to her and read stories.
“They bathe her and feed her and I get a chance to talk to other mums and have a walk round the gardens. The best thing of all is having an undisturbed sleep.”
Maggie is bingo mad and enjoys a night at the bingo in Kinross while Jilly is in Rachel House.
“I have a few games every time I’m there and I’ve made friends with the local women. They’ve been so kind and we always have a laugh together. I’ve even won sometimes.”
Maggie Pellow is a bright, bubbly woman with an infectious laugh and barrow-loads of courage. But when she talks about the difference Rachel House has made in her life and in Jilly’s her voice quavers a little bit.
“That place keeps me sane and it makes Jilly happy. What more can I ask?”
To see Maggie with her daughter is to see love in action. She brushes her daughter’s soft dark hair into a topknot and decorates it with a pink rose bauble. She insists on pretty, fashionable clothes for Jilly.
Maggie admits she has no idea what the future holds. But for now she’s enjoying every moment with her daughter, and they’re looking forward to spending Christmas at Rachel House.
“There will be love and laughter and fun. It will be the happiest place in the world on Christmas morning. We can’t wait.” |
You can e-mail us at:
hospice@sundaypost.com
|
Nurse Mary McLaughlin (left) and Maggie surround Jilly with love.
