So what will 
heaven be like?

Teenagers who are terminally ill find it easy to talk to this small, dynamic woman who has no air of solemnity or piety about her.
“I never try to convert people to Christianity or come on to them heavily about faith. That’s not my job. I’m there to listen and to stand with men, women and children who are facing the worst crisis life can throw at them.
“Everything pales into insignificance beside the fact that your child is dying. Some people get angry at God. Some find it impossible to talk about their feelings. Others are puzzled because it seems their prayers aren’t answered. 
“The hospice is a place where emotions are raw and tender and all I can do sometimes is just be there, going through it with them. My role is to provide pastoral and spiritual care for children, their families, staff and volunteers. And to offer follow-up and bereavement care.”
Nurse and midwife
Kay (40) was a nurse and a midwife before being called to the ministry. 
“I was a streetwise child growing up in Airdrie,” she says. “A cheeky wee rip. I wasn’t brought up to go to church — I liked going out with my pals, having a laugh, hanging out at discos. Then, when I was working as a nurse in the Middle East, I felt God wanted me to do something different with my life.”
At the age of 27 she went to Glasgow University to study for a Bachelor of Divinity degree. After graduating she worked in Drumchapel and was involved in all the church activities, from running the youth club to being part of the cleaning squad.
But in 1999 when she went for an interview at Rachel House, in Kinross, she was immediately struck by the happy, homely atmosphere. 
“It wasn’t a place where people were lying in bed waiting for the moment to die, instead it was just kids running, playing, having fun, doing what kids do. Just like an extension of a family home.”
Kay, who is dealing with death and suffering on a daily basis, says her own faith has been strengthened by seeing the way people cope with bereavement.
Great comfort 
“Parents contribute to a child’s life, so it’s important they should be involved in planning the funeral. This brings great comfort because it’s the last thing they can do for their child. 
“I’m often asked, ‘Why would a loving God allow this to happen to a child?’ That’s impossible to answer but what I can do is share my belief, which is that God loves us with an unconditional love. He doesn’t make a child die as a punishment for some past sin we’ve committed or because He is vengeful. 
“I have to be honest and say I don’t have ready-made pat answers or theories about why God permits suffering. In times of tragedy some people turn to God for help, some turn away, some just don’t ask the questions because they want to put their energy to more positive use.
“Some families who have no belief ‘adopt’ my faith for a little while to help them through. So far, in three years, I’ve never met a family who didn’t believe in something. Many just aren’t sure. 
“I’m just there to help them deal with grief and any unfinished business they have to go through as part of the bereavement process.”
Kay, who bustles about the hospice with a manic energy, whistling as she goes, says, “Teenagers who are dying give you it right between the eyes. They demand truth and I’ve been lucky because they find me approachable.
Big issues 
“I ‘loiter with intent’ and talk to them about music or football and sometimes in the most relaxed way we get around to the big issues on their minds. It’s all about building bridges. If I can diminish their fears about dying, then God has done something wonderful through me.”
One night just before midnight at Rachel House a teenage girl was giving Kay a make-over. She was rubbing cream into her face, putting mascara on her lashes and giving her a manicure when she asked the big questions — “Who is God, where is He, and what will heaven be like?”
Kay answered her as truthfully and as honestly as she could. The girl listened as she continued buffing her nails. Then Kay went on to ask what songs or hymns she wanted at her funeral. The girl didn’t answer, then said casually, “Did you watch EastEnders last night?”
Kay says, “I realised it was time for the heavy stuff to stop and to get on with living in the moment again. That’s cool.”
The “holy wumman” at Rachel House knows when people need her and when they don’t. Sentimental talk about “God stuff” does nothing for her. She just laughs. Kay Gilchrist is very cool indeed.

You can e-mail us at: hospice@sundaypost.com